Plenty of writers have found that re-visiting a difficult time helps them to move on in life. As they write, they remember how they felt, how they reacted to what life threw at them, and how people around them reacted. They can take the time to analyse what happened, and how this influenced what they did next.
Exploring the past by writing about it can prove to be good therapy, or it can re-open old wounds. It is up to the individual writer to determine whether it is actually helpful to spend all those hours writing a memoir. If she decides it isn't, then it might be wise to put the work aside, and come back to it later when the wounds are not so raw.
The mistake some writers make is to believe that their story will be of interest to the general population. Certainly, it may be – but it's more likely that it won't. It is important, therefore, for each writer to be honest with themselves about their reasons for writing a memoir.
1. Is the Memoir being Written Purely as Therapy?
If the whole idea behind writing a memoir is to '...get it out of my system and put things behind me', then it is probably not important whether anybody else sees it or not. The writer is, in essence, picking at a scab before the wound is allowed to heal.
Knowing that the memoir will never be seen by another person allows a lot of freedom. The writer is able to be totally honest about her feelings and her own perception of events. It's as well to keep in mind that the work should be kept secure if it is not meant for anyone else's eyes. Protect the computer with a secure password, or lock away the journal in which the memoir is being written.
2. Is the Author Writing a Memoir to Help Others?
Very often, someone sets about writing a memoir with the intention of helping others in the same boat (for example, being trapped by domestic violence, or being drawn deeper and deeper into a corrupt local government network). The reasoning goes something like this: "If I can help others to be brave enough to get out of a situation like this before it goes too far, then something good has come out of what happened to me."
There are a few traps in this situation. First: the writer needs to be very careful not to be guilty of defamation or libel. Efforts to disguise a certain person by changing his/her name and physical description often fail, because other things give away that person's identity. He or she can still take legal action, so beware! Second: if the author wants the story to be widely read, then how will the community get to know about the memoir? Is it going to be published and be available in bookstores? (Unless the event got considerable publicity at the time, it's unlikely that a publisher will take it on.) If the memoir is going to be self-published, then how does the writer intend to distribute the book? Does it need to make money so the author can pay for printing costs? These things need to be considered before the author starts work.
Authors writing a memoir as a form of therapy should start out with a clear understanding of their intention (to publish or not to publish) and a firm idea of how the book will be published and distributed (if it is meant for a wider audience). Finally, if they are aiming at publication, they should plan to get feedback from a trustworthy, objective source when they have finished the memoir. This source should be prepared to tell them honestly if they are still too close to the subject to write about it effectively.
Marg McAlister - Marg McAlister has tried on a good many writer's hats in her career, and has enjoyed wearing most of them. Her writing achievements ...
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